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| Posted by: |  aspeed |
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| Date: | June 25th, 2007 6:57 PM | ||
| Header: | June Comixtreme Newsletter | ||
| Bulletin: | The following is a transcript of a speech given at the Nanuktuk Institute of Super-Villiany on May 23rd, 2007. Transcribed by B. “No Silly Nickname” Schatz I'm sorry, what? No, I can't understand you. You're saying they can here me? They can hear me right now? Oh, okay. Uh, hi there. My name is Doctor Fistpunch Magillicuddy, and I used to be a super villain. A pretty darn good one too. In fact, I can remember two different instances where I managed to mould the entire world into my image before the Justice Group came along and thwarted my carefully laid plans. But I'm not here today to rehash my glory days - I'm actually here to give all of you - the best and brightest the forces of evil have put together in the longest time - a few words of wisdom before you head off into the world. I'm, uh, I'm not really a great speaker, so I'm actually going to give these to you in list form if that’s, that's okay. *ahem* Okay, #1: Forget everything you've read in your text books. Yes, I know, that sounds kind of strange - you've just spent years going over the history of your craft and now some guy is up on stage telling you to forget it all? What's *that* about, right? Heh. Heh. Well, it's all about practicality, really. Nowadays, superheroes aren't messing around. If you set up a death trap - even if it happens to be one of the greatest death traps of all time - and spend your time devising clever sounding monologues detailing your evil intentions. you're just going to end up getting punched in the face. Hard. Trust me, I've learned from experience. #2: Be careful out there. I know, I know, it's not "cool" to play it safe. It's always great to be the villain who doesn't play by the rules. But sometimes it gets to the point where enough is enough - and heroes, they don't act like they used to. They won't show you any mercy if you push them too close to the brink. Recently, a great number of us have been getting killed off because they take things to an extreme that *no one* is comfortable with. Don't make the same mistake as them. And #3: Have a little bit of *fun* every once and a while. Of course, every villain enjoys being extremely evil and ruthless on the odd occasion. But the world is already filled with a lot of darkness. Regular people are killing each other. Every. Single. Day. And society doesn't really need our help to sink any further. Now, I'm not saying "don't commit evil deeds". Occasionally, you'll need to remind the world *why* they are supposed to fear you. But in between those moments, try a little creativity. Any schmuck with an anger problem and beer can make with the senseless violence. But we're *super* villains. Our job requires a certain finesse that the everyday scum of the earth just don't have the talent to pull off. So please, I beg you all. No rape. No smacking defenseless people around, just because you want to sit at the "cool" table with every other mediocre evil schmuck who's come along. Go out there and MIX IT UP. Have *fun* with your evil. In the end, you'll feel a lot better for it. Uh, okay, so I know how long these things can go for, and I know that you're all itching to get out of here and chug kegs, or whatever you do, so I'll just say one more thing before I go. Always live life to the fullest, and laugh like everyone is watching - because if you're good enough, and really, really lucky, the whole world *will* be. REVIEWS ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #110 REVIEW by Adam Chapman - The tables are turned on the Kingpin! http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35365 CAPTAIN AMERICA #27 REVIEW by Terry Verticchio - Bucky confronts someone from his past as he plans to make things right for what happened to Captain America. http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35353 DMZ #20 REVIEW by S. A. Parvaze - Matty returns to the DMZ, continuing his investigation of the Day 204 Massacre. http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35343 DETECTIVE COMICS #833 REVIEW by Mike D’Alfonso - Batman investigates a murder of Zatanna’s old stage partner- and an unexpected surprise befalls the two heroes. http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35312 THE TICK 20th ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL EDITION #1 REVIEW by Andrea Speed - The Tick turns twenty … which is funny, because mentally, he’s probably ten. http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35335 MOVIE REVIEWS FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER REVIEW by Adam Chapman - As Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman prepare to tie the knot, the Silver Surfer streaks towards Earth... http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35286 BLACK SHEEP REVIEW by Andrea Speed - This is a movie about man eating zombie sheep. Really. http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35355 FEATURES MEANWHILE … … with JIMMIE ROBINSON http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34972 … TALKING PX! WITH ERIC AND MANNY! http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35087 … EDGAR ALLAN POO AND MORE! http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35240 TWO IN ONE SHOWCASE PODCASTS: ARCHIE COMICS - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35013 FANTASTIC FOUR - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35150 SILVER SURFER - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35273 FROM WIZARD WORLD PHILADELPHIA - http://media.libsyn.com/media/twoinone/Ep._23.5_Wizard_World_Philly.mp 3 COLUMNS EVERYTHING BUT IMAGINARY #220: WHAT HAPPENS AT THE CON DOESN'T STAY AT THE CON - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35213 WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE #37: MARVEL COMICS IN THE '80S/'90S - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35159 MORE THAN NEWS ISSUE #32: Daredevil to retire - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35207 ON THE SHELF THIS WEEK - 06.27.07 - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35376 NEWS INDIE NEWS ROUNDUP WEEK SEVENTEEN - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35342 DARK TOWER #4 SELLS OUT & RETURNS WITH NEW COVER - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35178 SINBAD SAILS THE BLUEWATER - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35202 INDIE NEWS ROUNDUP WEEK SIXTEEN - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35238 Special thanks to X-World Comics - Pre-order or buy new comic books from DC, Marvel, Image... shop for comics, statues, & collectibles at discount prices. Buy online now from X-World and Save! http://www.x-worldcomics.com/yourvirtualstore |
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