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aspeed

Date:

July 23rd, 2007 7:46 PM

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Comixtreme July Newsletter

Bulletin:

Survival Tips for the San Diego Comic Con by Andrea “Putting The Nerd in Prom” Speed

These tips will help you at any comic con, but let’s face it, the bigger it is, the more applicable these are. While I can’t guarantee Ed Brubaker won’t pants you or Joss Whedon won’t beat you up in the parking lot, I can guarantee that if you follow my tips, your survival rate will easily jump up to fifty percent.

1. Make friends with the guy in the most inexplicable costume.

You’ll know him when you see him - he’s either wearing an intricate homemade costume that must have taken ages to put together, or is wearing a costume involving fishnets and headgear that you can’t for the life of you recognize. What the hell is he supposed to be - the illegitimate love child of Tigra and Machine Man? You could ask him, but I wouldn’t. This is a man who would be happy to befriend you, as I suspect he’s probably a bit deficient in the friends department. But that’s okay. He’ll be useful in smuggling goods inside the con, as who would search him (or want to), and if you get his picture taken with various creators, you can always blackmail them later by threatening to release them on the web.

2. Don’t annoy Warren Ellis.

Seriously, don’t. He has a cane, and he won’t hesitate to beat you with it or put it where no cane was ever meant to go. You can bug other creators, but beware, as some are a bit more subtle in their revenge. Oh sure, Bendis may seem like a nice guy, but wait until you wake up the next morning with the head of your pet gerbil in bed next to you. Nice my shiny metal butt! (And you don’t even want to know what happened to the rest of the gerbil …)

3. Do annoy any members of Comixtreme.

Please, if you see one of us, go up to us and ask us for our autograph as you shower us with praise. Then, once you get our signature, look at it for an uncomfortably long time, then ask, heartbroken, “You’re not Alan Moore?” Okay, this is very mean. Is it wrong that I find it funny? (I’d find it funny if you did it to me. I would, I swear!)

4. Have your be-costumed friend smuggle in water bottles.

Do you really want to pay four dollars for one measly bottle of water? I didn’t think so. This is where the guy in the weird costume comes in handy.

5. Buy the Bomb Queen: Dirty Bomb trade.

Have I shamelessly plugged this enough? Let me do it one more time. Buy the damn thing, so I don’t have to hunt down your gerbils.

6. Know how to clear a line.

This is pretty simple. Just yell really loudly, “Power Girl just lost her top!” (Trust me, there is always a Power Girl.) Be sure to be standing clear, though, or you may be stampeded.

Go have fun, no chair throwing, and no, I’m not bailing you out of jail.

REVIEWS

ULTIMATE X-MEN #84 by Adam Chapman - Bishop finishes rounding up his team of X-Men, as the Mutant Liberation Front attacks! http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35772

BIRDS OF PREY #108 by Terry Verticchio - The end of one era and the beginning of another… http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35737

COUNTDOWN #41 by Liam Creswick - Trickster and Piper scramble to survive their fall, and the Monitor’s posse reach the Palmerverse. http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35777

UNCANNY X-MEN #488 by Gabriel Diaz - The Morlocks continue on their ‘mission’ as a small team tries to save Leech. Plus, Beast makes his way into the Antarctic. http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35735

DETECTIVE COMICS #834 by Mike D’Alfonso - With Batman and Zatanna caught in the direst of situations, an old villain emerges from the guise of gothic magician Ivar Loxia. http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35698

MOVIES

TRANSFORMERS REVIEW by Adam Chapman - The Autobots strive to protect Earth from the evil machinations of the villainous Decepticons! http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35516

THE FILM CREW: HOLLYWOOD AFTER DARK REVIEW by Andrea Speed - Three of the writers of Mystery Science Theater 3000 return … to put an a "commentary track" to a Rue McClanahan sexploitation film from the ‘60’s. No, I’m not making any of this up. http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35646

COLUMNS

EVERYTHING BUT IMAGINARY #224: DOS AND DON'TS OF A CROSSOVER - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35710

MORE THAN NEWS ISSUE #37: Traffic jam prevents rescue - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35705

THE $40 PULL LIST - JULY 2007 - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35496

EVERYTHING BUT IMAGINARY #223: WILL ZUDA COMICS BE ZOMETHING DIFFERENT? - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35638

FEATURES

TWO IN ONE SHOWCASE PODCASTS:

TWENTY-SIX: WOMEN IN COMICS - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35574

TWENTY-SEVEN: FREE FOR ALL FRENZY II - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35675

MEANWHILE... #3: ACTION PHILOSOPHERS! WITH FRED AND RYAN! - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35442

NEWS

SPLASH PAGE COMIC ART PRODUCES ART-BOOK - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35748

VANGUARD OFFERS MICHAEL GOLDEN SDCC EXCLUSIVE SKETCHBOOK - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35729

INDIE NEWS ROUNDUP WEEK SEVENTEEN - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35342

STAN LEE CGC EBAY AUCTION!!! - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35684

GIRL WORTH DYING FOR! - http://www.comixtreme.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35513

Special thanks to X-World Comics - Pre-order or buy new comic books from DC, Marvel, Image... shop for comics, statues, & collectibles at discount prices. Buy online now from X-World and Save!
http://www.x-worldcomics.com/yourvirtualstore

And did I mention the Bomb Queen: Dirty Bomb trade? Yes, you have to buy it. Don’t make me beg.

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