No, I did not go to your school. I am not the Jim Clark who founded Netscape. I am not the dead race car driver. I did not direct the movie you saw. I have never worked for your company. I am not related to the person you know. We were not childhood friends. I do not owe you money.

I write a comic book called Scar Tissue. I’ve also have had my poetry, fiction and comic book stories published in various anthologies that didn’t make me any money, but I’m of the belief that starvation makes one a better writer anyway.

I am a proud father of two and an amateur player of the ukulele.

I do not like beets.