Greetings, all. I sincerely apologize that you ended up on this page. No, really. You have my deepest sympathies. Unfortunately, I'm afraid I can't offer any refunds on the time you've wasted coming here. (While I'm still working on manipulating the laws of time and space, I haven't managed to make much headway... yet.)

Yes, I'm that guy. The General Protection Fault guy. Love it or hate it, I'm the guy to thank/blame. If you haven't heard of GPF, then shame on you. What kind of virtual rock have you been living under? GPF is one of the oldest, longest continuously running comics on the Internet, having debuted in November 1998. A "geek soap opera," GPF chronicles the eclectic misadventures of the employees of a small software company and the sentient slime molds who love them. There's more jokes than you can shake a 10Base-T networking card at (don't use a 100Base-T until you're sure that gigabit Ethernet card is working properly), but there's also plenty of action, adventure, science fiction, and plain ol' silliness. Oh, and there might be a Java or Linux joke in there too.

Before recently returning to its independent roots, GPF had always been one of the most popular comics on Keenspot. We had four books printed through Plan Nine Publishing, although all are now considered out of print. (New books are in the works, but there are no details yet.) For the morbidly curious, my blog is available for those who have even more copious free time to waste.

To be honest, I'm not much into this "social networking" scene. I'm an old school geek, to whom "social networking" means mailing lists or Usenet, and maybe I'll try out that "instant messaging" thing one day. (I even spell "school" the way they taught me to back in elementary school.) Thus, I'm not sure just how often I'll visiting here. However, I will try to give it a shot see how it goes. I suppose the worst that could happen is that I'll become excessively paranoid and think everyone here is out to get me, and I'll retreat into an antisocial spiral of self-loathing and doubt, locking myself in my laundry room and living off the "deposits" my cats leave in their litter boxes until I eventually wither away to nothing. Or maybe I'll just delete my account. One or the other.

My Befriending Policy: First off, please don't be offended if I don't "befriend" you, or it takes and incredibly long time for me to do so. Odds are I probably won't "befriend" folks unless I already know who you are via external means (I know you personally, we're acquainted online, etc.) or unless I get to know you over time. I'm not really into the whole "I'm incredibly popular because my friend list is obscenely long" thing, and I'm not looking to participate in any popularity contests. I certainly won't be "befriending" every single user on the system just because they ask. It's nothing personal; I just don't feel the need to over inflate my own ego with an obnoxiously long list of links to people I haven't really met.

As previously stated, I also probably won't be here 24/7/365, so it may take me a while to get around to clicking those links to finalize other's "befriending" requests. I'm a dottering old man that way. I need my sleep at night.

Also don't be offended if I haven't tracked you down and poked you for a "befriending." I'm a CS newbie, and I don't really have time to go culling every person I know from the user list. If we do know each other already and I haven't poked you yet, feel free to poke me first. Odds are I just haven't found your login yet.