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Posted by:

MacGlaspyn

Date:

March 2nd, 2007 2:03 PM

Header:

Civil War & Acid Reflux

Bulletin:

Okay, anyone at this stage of the game should probably have heard by now how Civil War has played out. If not, spoiler alert, as I will be talking about it in the following. Scoot along now. Shoo.

Alright then, those remaining have either read it for themselves, heard about it in a podcast, seen one of their friends foam at the mouth in a rant or had to apply pressure to something while waiting for paramedics arrive. That being the case, I am sure the following views won’t be too much of a shock to you, but I will try to be concise anyway.

At first, I thought it was just sloppy work. It felt rushed like it should have maybe had an 8th book or something, like perhaps it wrapped up too soon; but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn’t it. Something bothered me about it. Was it the fact that with the steamrolling nature of the beast it seemed to peter out listlessly? Was it the fact that it seemed almost glib in its hurried pace? No, I am used to these things lately. It finally dawned on me that it was how it played out and how it reflected things in the “real world”. When Civil War started it hit all the talk circuits and news outlets, from the Colbert Report, to CNN, to USA Today, and so on. Was this reflecting the real world or not, etc. Sure, comics as escapism isn’t a new thing, but in a world of cell phone taps, detainees at Git-mo without charges, and a trilateral government turning into a dictatorship, well, what started off as a poignant controversy ended kind of nauseatingly.

Fine. Cloak was tired, pushed himself too hard, didn’t have his Wheaties and teleported the entire fight to Times Square rather than a cornfield. It happens. Everyone’s dander was up and they were too busy to notice that in the midst of good guy on good guy fighting buildings with innocent people in them were falling down? I buy that a lot less, but maybe it was dementia from teleporting. The greatest military and tactical mind in the Marvel Universe not noticing that the conflict was in the middle of a bunch of civilians and even *trying* to relocate it to a less populated area? Or anyone doing so? Nope. Too much.

I have no problems with the good Captain losing sight of what he was fighting for, he is a quaint little anachronism after all. I just think that the Marvel honchos maaaybe didn’t need a fireman to tackle him to remind him? Or when he had his “eureka” moment that he didn’t, oh, I don’t know… QUIT IN MID BATTLE! Maybe this is just me, but I would have liked Captain F#$*ing America to have said something to the extent of “Look dude, I know this sucks, I hate this too. I used to throw darts with that lush in the iron long johns, but when the dust settles, you will actually thank me for saving your Bill of Rights”.

In a world where fear allows legislature to remove our liberties one by one for a little freedom and where shampoo is now suspect in airports, I was actually glad to be able to show my fourteen year old son Amazing Spider-man #537 where Captain America is giving Spidey his “this is why we fight” speech. That had it all spot on. Was Straczynski out of the office the day that Civil War #7 went to print or something? Cap just quit because he felt he was wrong? No. No. Nooooooo.

What’s next? The homicidal “You are either for me or against me”/”I am the deciderer” Punisher fully realizing his man crush and picking up the mantle of Captain America while the real spirit of the country is rotting away in prison for actually doing that which this country was founded on? No, surely even The House of Marvel couldn’t be that lame… though it would continue to realistically reflect the real world…

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