I think this old yarn will say the most about me. Once upon a time, there was an old man walking along the banks of a river. On the other side of the river, he suddenly saw a penguin being chased by a panda bear. The old man was quite understandably surprised... not living in antarctica or china he didn't see either of these animals very often. From where he was, the old man could barely make out that the penguin was carrying a small scroll, which the panda was most likely interested in getting, hence the chasing. The old man wished he could get across the river to see what it was that the panda was so interested in getting. However, the river ran deep and fast, and the old man had no desire to be washed away and killed. "Hey, Penguin!" the old man shouted across the river, "Panda bears can't swim!" The penguin halted briefly, looking at the old man, and quickly swam across the river. Looking as morose as a panda bear can, the panda bear trudged off to find something better to do than chasing penguins. Waddling out of the river, the penguin looked up at the old man gratefully. The old man could swear that it was smiling, except that penguins have a hard beak that cannot bend to smile. The penguin reached up with its flippers, and handed the old man the scroll it was carrying. Unrolling it, the old man read what the first side said. "Quack." Turning the scroll over, the old man read the other side. "I hate writing bios about myself."