I hate introductions. Or more accurately, I hate introductions to introductions. You always need that good attention getter to draw the reader in and I never manage to come up with something I am content with. Perhaps it's best to take the cheap way out and just be blunt:

SEX WITH PARIS HILTON GUARANTEED IF YOU READ TO THE END OF THIS SECTION!!!

Nah, I was totally lying. Too obvious, huh? I'm sure if you ever saw her and asked nicely she'd give you a blow job, anyway. I guess we can get down to business now.

Lately, I have been more of a reader than writer, but I'm trying desperately to make a comeback. My comic-related work in the past has been parody, satire, political or a mixture of all three. The idea of taboo subjects or taboo words are, while not lost on me, all but irrelevant to me. On my best days I can be outright hysterical and sardonically insulting simultaneously.

I am unapologetically straight-up libertarian; so given a long enough conversation, I'm bound to insult most people's political leanings eventually. I make jokes at the expense of conservatives, liberals, despots, anarchists, determinists, and sometimes your mom. Try not to take it too personally, it's just my poor excuse for a joke.

My first real attempt at a full-fledged parody was called Spider-Matt and BatDan. I originally wrote the story in script format back in 7th grade. Upon its completion, I brought it to school and read it to a group of friends during our lunch period and, to my surprise, garnered a small group of fans who didn't miss a beat as they laughed at every joke. I turned the story into a trilogy, but had less success with the following stories. Why can't sequels ever be as good? Nevertheless, I was proud of my achievement and decided then and there that I wanted to write parodies for the rest of my life. Sadly, it hasn't worked out that way. But who knows what the future holds. In the meantime, let me introduce you to works of mine that can be read here and now.

Spider-Matt and BatDan - This is the short story of my original script. I was still 17 when I wrote this, so there are still many kinks to work out. I plan on doing a complete re-edit to beef up the language and the detail and add elements I feel are missing from the story. This draft, however, is completely readable albeit not the work of a literary scholar. It's in PDF format, so make sure you have Acrobat Reader.

FictionPress - I've been posting writings of mine to this site since 2000, so there's a slew of old and newer stuff. There are many pieces that aren't so great, but you know what they say about practice. So there are later pieces I'm still pretty proud of on here.

Interpolanticism - This is my short-lived web comic. I wrote it during the latter half of 2004 and often times used it as a way to vent at the stupidity of my peers at school by completely mocking their behavior. Other times I would use it to capture humorous moments between friends. This was my first foray into the world of web comics. While I had a small readership among peers, I could not get a decent artist and thus wound up doing the art myself in MS Paint. Nevertheless, the comic maintained a certain appeal for short period of time, I'm happy to say. Older archives can be found at deviantART. I plan on uploading this comic here when the feature is available.

deviantART - I don't use this TOO much, but Interpolanticism can be found here.

LiveJournal - Hey, a journal. I wonder what that's used for. Mostly updates about my life (lots of travel and experiences in the navy). When I'm not talking about my singular experiences abroad, I'm usually discussing politics. If you want your blood boiled, come have a look.

Don't Tread On Me - A blog that is mostly the same as my LJ

I can also be found at Facebook and MySpace