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Posted by:

TENTONSTUDIOS

Date:

March 8th, 2007 9:19 PM

Header:

Ten Ton Studios: Guide to Being Cool. Part I

Bulletin:

Hey there Fella's and Femme's. Scott St. Pierre here. It may come as a surprise to most of you that I'm the shortest founding member of Ten Ton Studios. But would you have known this if I didn't tell you?

You see, I was born and raised in the projects, and from there I moved on to the trailer parks till I was 27 years old. I know what some of you are thinking right now! "Not cool." But listen here! It's not what happens to you that determines who you are. It's what you do with what happens to you. This is common knowledge amongst successful people. And success in itself is not that hard to accomplish either.

For instance, I rode my scooter to work today. Not that big a deal. Mix in the fact that I live in New Jersey and that this state houses some of the worst drivers in the Country, kind of adds a bit of danger to the scene. Now note that it was raining hard out and that Billy Joel laid some ground work for anyone who rides in the rain on two wheels is automatically a bad-ass. The success of this mornings ride was I didn't die on my way to work and scores of people in their cars (cages) got to see a genuine bad-ass on their way to work today.

Onto the part you really want to read. How is what you're reading now going to change you? Well it's not that easy. You have to change you. But I'll cut all the self-help crap for a second and tell you something straight out: CUT YOUR FINGERNAILS. Baby steps people. I'm not saying file and polish, but just crop the claws yo. If you're feeling adventurous maybe dabble around the cuticles and dead skin off your knuckles but the nails should be your first priority at this point. Why? Cuz people notice that stuff. And if you want to be successful you're going to need a lot of people on your side. No successful person is an island. So babystep your way to cut nails and we'll give you some time to see how you did and how different the world treats you.

I'm afraid (very afraid) that's all the time I have for right now. Caffeine and ADD make for good writing. And you may be right, I may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatics words you've been wanting to read. Click in next time when I'll tell you propper comic browsing etiquette and why you shouldn't accidentally hit females in the vagina with pool furniture.

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