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Posted by:

TENTONSTUDIOS

Date:

March 8th, 2007 9:53 PM

Header:

Ten Ton Studios: Guide to Being Cool. Part XI

Bulletin:

What's up ya'll.

This weeks installment is brought to you by the letters I, Y and Q.

Let's talk about dreams today. The crazy stuff. The stuff lots of money can buy. If money can't buy it outright, maybe money can fund some kind of science research to set them wheels in motion.

Right now my dream is to cure me of my lactose intolerance. I've been a slave to the toilet these past few days. I can act classy, but that's just what it is. An act. My souls core is that of a 6 year old that laughs hysterically at poop and pee jokes.

106 Million Dollars. What would you do? Would you go nuts? I honestly am not sure if the world could realistically handle a Scott St. Pierre with wealth of that magnitude.

Without a doubt some of that money would be towards that new three wheeled Piaggio Scooter coming out this year. My wife wants a new Cell Phone so we'd probably get one of those too. I also want a WWII German Motorcycle with sidecar.

There's an old abandoned middle school in town here that I'd love to remodel as a home or at least as the Ten Ton Citadel. The entire roof would be covered with solar panels, cuz I'm into the environment and stuff. Ooh, My wife has always wanted a Christmas room. One room in the house where it's always Christmas. Hot Cocoa and a decorated tree. Maybe even make it so the windows are really cold so if you go near them you'd be like "Oh my, it sure is cold outside. I mean, tis the season and all that."

I'd probably have one of these things in my house. http://www.flyawayindoorskydiving.com/ I've never done indoor or outdoor skydiving before, but I'm pretty sure it's fun.

I don't know how much an Anti-Gravity Chamber costs, or actually if they really even exist at all, but that would rule too.

A Kevlar suit would be cool, and necessary.

I'd probably take some nasty crazy dance lessons. Get my teeth fixed. Learn to speak Italian, French, Spanish, Japanese, Mandiran Chinese, Vietnamese and Arabic. That stuff would have to be plugged into my brain like in the Matrix. I'm not too good at persistence or learning.

I'd probably stop messing around with the T-shirt and Jeans look and just go Suit and Tie everyday. I'd want to look like I was a detective maybe. On special occasions I'd bust out a bow-tie.

Rich or Poor I already plan to only talk with a southern accent when I turn 60. I want to sound like Albert Finney in Big Fish, or the Narrator from a Mark Twain book. "Yes, I have on a bow-tie. I left the routine Tie at home. It seems that routine has no place in regards to affairs of distinction." I will say that exact line someday when I'm 60.

I honestly would probably be too afraid of losing it all that I wouldn't spend too much of it on material things. The problem with cool stuff is that it breaks eventually or people try to steal it.

St. Springsteen once posed the question, "Is a Dream a lie that don't come true, or is it something worse...?" To dream is to believe in the impossible. To believe in the impossible is insanity. Insanity is being entertained, even slightly, by some impossible dreamer with access to a computer, a forum and an audience.

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