ComicSpace - Read Bulletin

Home / TENTONSTUDIOS / Bulletins / Read Bulletin

Befriend TENTONSTUDIOS

« Back

Posted by:

TENTONSTUDIOS

Date:

March 9th, 2007 10:47 AM

Header:

Ten Ton Studios: Guide to Being Cool. Part XIII

Bulletin:

Listen up primates, I'm taking your asses to school today.

Seems a lot of people I encounter everyday need me to tell them how to do things. Today I'm letting loose a bit.

How to watch a movie in a public movie theater:

Step 1. Eyes forward, Stare at the rectangle of moving light...now shut your F'n mouth.
If it's a funny scene, you are allowed to laugh. I like funny things too and am probably laughing harder than you, but when the part of the movie comes where the antagonist found out he's dying of cancer and his wife who was blind up until this point of the movie has just gained the gift of sight, I do not want to hear you telling your girl of the month that you have a raging hard on about those new chrome imported rims you just ordered from that catalog with the bikini model straddling a pimped out Volvo.

Step 2. If it's a Rated R movie, please be to GOD do not bring your six year old. Movies I have witnessed this in movies like: Sin City, The Departed and South Park.
If you do this I'm not saying you're a bad parent...just a stupid one.

Step 3. Don't cut in line at the ticket window. You should get a shiv in the kidney if you're found guilty of this one.

How to wait patiently at a counter-top in a retail setting:

Step 1. DO NOT bite your nails, chew on your cuticles, or pick at your dangling knuckle skin when at my counter. I work in an upscale locale and you'd be amazed at the so called "classy" behaviour of some of my clients.

Step 2. If you have a cold and your nose is runny, ask me for a friggen tissue. Most places have them. We'd rather hear a quick nose blow than suffer through 5 minutes of hearing your heavy breathing and snot clogged sniffles. And cover your mouth and turn away when you cough. I'm serious, don't be a douche-bag.

Step 3. Don't be a douche-bag. Don't complain about the price. You're not happy about paying that much any more than the kid working behind the counter is happy about making $8 an hour. Take it on the chin.

Step 4. Turn off your iPod. Do not set your earbuds blaringly loud on my counter and expect me to be my usual sunny self.

Step 5. Don't rub your girlfriends ass, thinking I don't know what's going on. Sure I can't see below the countertop but that uncomfortable look in your girl's eye confirms what I've been sensing all along. You turn to public molestation as a way to over compensate for having a seriously small penis. It's okay man, there's hope. Size doesn't count. Well, it does in sex, but not in terms of how cool you are.

Well, I'm feeling pretty good after all that. It's been a couple weeks and this past week has been a rough one for me. I'd like to send a thanks out to my Ten Ton Crew for the support and a special thanks to Inker supreme, Mr. Jeremy Freeman. Love you too, man.

« Back

Befriend TENTONSTUDIOS