[ Posted by mayshing on Dec 10th, 2006 4:31 PM ]...

You are welcome. I'm glad my comment helped.

I didn't notice my transition problem either until another mangaka pointed it out for me. Now that one is an appearant problem I see for many, even some who are published.

To nail down the transition, think about the "transition" itself being a plot between plots, it's the place where you nail down the character or event's mood, taste and personality. For animation wise, it's the role of major tween to set the character's personality on how it should move. I suggest reading "Animator's survival guide" it can apply to story writing and comic too, if one think about the stuff that has been talked about in it.

And when you treat scenery background like a character you have, you will progress much faster in drawing it, you might even enjoy it so much and get obsessed in drawing it good. lol~

[ Posted by mayshing on Dec 8th, 2006 7:35 PM ]...

Nice, I think you got the whole shojo taste just right, and your coloring pleasently fit into the shojo theme you have.
I get the part where the phone should be the graphical experiment type "graphic", but I am a little thrown off by the way the story is jumping from one scene to another.... without enough indication of transition.
Transition with scenery usually helps, like showing the girl actually walk to the neighbor's house...

I had problem with transition before, and always get picked on by an magazine editor for that. When one think about transition, just think about the journey, how one should move from one spot to another.
I don't know if you do animation or not... but it's like drawing animation, you have the key frames, such as a guy stands up from sitting position, and everything in between of how he's standing up is the transition. Your manga lacks that so far in the 8 pages I have read.

Keep up the good work though, I'm sure with some time you will nail that down and you won't have to explain yourself one bit to your audience. (That's very important by the way... the work should speak for itself, because we can't always be there to explain.)