Uatu
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Pay no heed to the 40 foot man with the gigantic cranium.
I am here but to observe. I am not allowed to interfere in the affairs of you earthly beings.
I make my presence known only when great events of supreme importance are about to unfold, for I am Uatu... THE WATCHER!
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Oh, and if you see him, tell Reed Richards, I kinda need that Ultimate Nullifier back, like pronto.
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*NEW* December 27, 2006
Attention humans! I have recieved your querries and I now submit my all knowing responses...
******************** Original Message ********************
From: JBonner71
Date: December 24th, 2006 7:12 AM
Oh great and wise Uatu, seer of all things...
...what is my destiny?
Merry Christmas, master voyeur!
******************** Original Message ********************
Mr. Bonner,
As you are obviously not aware, a Watcher only has the ability to see all that is. Not what will be. Not to mention the fact that I have made a solemn oath not to interfere with the affairs of man. (That is, of course, unless you're Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four.)
But, based off of what I witnessed today, I would have to advise that you stay away from the water for a while. Read from that statement what you will.
I must bid you farewell, Earth man. Nicole Richie just fell off the wagon. This is gonna be good! DUTY CALLS!
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******************** Original Message ********************
From: ChrisK
Date: December 23rd, 2006 8:31 PM
ask you a question... in a pm or on the board? wait! That wasn't my question... was it? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
******************** Original Message ********************
It matters not the number of questions asked, ChrisK. Due to my solemn vow of non-interference, chances are slim that I would actually answer your questions to begin with.
It also matters not if you post to the comments section or in a PM. Questions deemed worthy will doubtlessly appear in the Content section of my Comicspace.com page. Therefore, you are permitted to ask any questions, at any time. Perhaps one day an Earth man, such as yourself, will ask a question of such importance that Uatu, The Watcher, will be compelled to answer. Until that day, don't expect to much of my responses.
My attention is drawn elsewhere! Mel Gibson is saying some scandalous shit right now, and I gotta see this! DUTY CALLS!
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******************** Original Message ********************
From: ben
Date: December 23rd, 2006 3:54 PM
How many fingers am I holding up?
******************** Original Message ********************
Ben,
Your question puzzles me Earth man. Do you mean the number of fingers you where holding up as you type your message, or as I type this message? I know the answer to each of these questions, but can not give you more information than you already know, for that would be an interference in the normal course of Earthly events.
Please feel free to ask another question, which I will undoubtedly NOT answer directly.
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******************** Original Message ********************
From: TheDarkNebula
Date: December 25th, 2006 2:15 AM
Hi, so who's more powerful, Thor or Superman.
But seriously I hope you & your family have a happy & safe holiday.
***Edited due to gratuitous self promotion***
Hoping 2007 is a great one for all of us.
Best regards,
Tad
******************** Original Message ********************
I have pondered your question for many picoseconds TheDarkNebula, and an honest answer cannot be easily obtained. Due to the events of Ragnarok, the Odin-son, Thor, as well as all of the god-like beings of Asgard, have been removed from all of my viewable plains of existence.
Prior to these events, Thor had obtained powers beyond imagination, and surely would have bested almost any being in battle, save possibly, the Celestials.
On the opposite spectrum, despite his god-like qualities, this Superman that you speak of, is bested, on a regular basis, by a mortal man in a rodent costume.
You be the judge.
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December 23rd, 2006
ASK UATU
As a Holiday gift to everyone, Uatu, The Watcher, will now accept your questions. Ask Uatu anything*, for he is neigh omnipotent!
*Your submittal of a question does not guarantee an answer from the all-seeing Uatu. Remember, The Watchers have sworn not to interfere with the lives of those they watch. But, asking never hurt anything
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Uatu's Bulletins
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Uatu's Friends
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Uatu's Comments
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[ Posted by Spiderguy72 on Mar 5th, 2007 1:21 AM ]...
Uatu...where have you been??  1 Reply [ Latest posted on March 11th, 2007 12:18 AM ]
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 [ Posted by Uatu on Mar 11th, 2007 12:18 AM ]...
HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH BRITANY? I mean common! It starts with pantyless limo rides, and ends with that hot Natalie Portman/Sinade O'Connor hair-do! How can I not be spending all that time watching that?! It's totally "Watcher" PORN! |
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[ Posted by ChrisK on Feb 1st, 2007 1:05 PM ]...
Hey Uatu, you need a $5 Dollar Sketch!!! |
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[ Posted by ChrisK on Jan 19th, 2007 6:45 PM ]...
Hey Uatu,
Are you the a little pissed off that McNiven made you look like The Martian Man Hunter in the latest issue of Civil War??? I'd be. 5 Replies [ Latest posted on January 20th, 2007 12:48 PM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Jan 20th, 2007 11:49 AM ]...
Have you seen my head lately? I mean, common. It's HUGE! McNiven did me a favor by depicting the all seeing's noggin as a little less gargantuan. I for one, applaud Mr. McNiven, despite his set-backs on the Civil War scheduling. You try drawing with a goat and a gerbil suckling... I have said too much! Divulging this information would be detrimental to my oath as a watcher.
American Idol's back on! DUTY CALLS!
-Uatu OUT! |
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[ Posted by Uatu on Jan 20th, 2007 11:50 AM ]...
P.S. Parrapa The Rapper was the sheezy! |
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[ Posted by Uatu on Jan 20th, 2007 11:52 AM ]...
P.P.S. Do I look like Chop Chop Union Master?
"Kick Punch! It's all in the mind. If you wanna test me I'm sure you'll find, the things I teach ya are sure to beat 'cha, but never the less you'll get a lesson from teacher!" |
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[ Posted by Uatu on Jan 20th, 2007 12:08 PM ]...
P.P.P.S. What the hell happened to your monkey avatar! The one you stole from the Lockedintheattic guys? |
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[ Posted by ChrisK on Jan 20th, 2007 12:48 PM ]...
Correction... Parappa the Rapper IS the sheezy.
And, I did just that... put my monkey back into the attic. |
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[ Posted by Spiderguy72 on Jan 18th, 2007 1:30 AM ]...
Thank you for the add, powerful one. Its great to see you here! |
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[ Posted by AlexMiller on Dec 30th, 2006 4:54 PM ]...
Is it proper for The Watcher to have so many "friends" when he is sworn only to watch?
And I'm a little bit thirsy. What should I have to drink? 1 Reply [ Latest posted on January 9th, 2007 7:29 PM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Jan 9th, 2007 7:29 PM ]...
Is it proper for you, an Earth man, to question Uatu's relationships? Or, for that matter, my commitment to the oath of the Watchers?
You imply that I have in some way changed the course of natural human evolution simply by having "friends".
Stand aside Earth man. I'm to have parlay with Dr. Strange this afternoon.
BTW, I'm digging on the mocha Frapachinos. |
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[ Posted by buzzfretz on Jan 3rd, 2007 6:13 PM ]...
Uatu, why does my gut expand at a far greater rate than the rest of the universe? 1 Reply [ Latest posted on January 9th, 2007 7:23 PM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Jan 9th, 2007 7:23 PM ]...
It is apparent that your digestive system contains a gestating Celestial. I recommend you get this looked at...
But you didn't hear that from me... For I AM UATU! THE WATCHER! |
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[ Posted by nekoandneko on Dec 28th, 2006 11:17 PM ]...
One more question because I can't help myself...
Who watches The Watcher? 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 30th, 2006 10:00 AM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 30th, 2006 10:00 AM ]...
Prepare to have your mind blow Earth man!
Who watches the watchers of The Watcher? |
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[ Posted by ChrisK on Dec 23rd, 2006 9:34 PM ]...
How many beers is too many?
and,
Will Tom Katers ever figure out it was MY green SUV that splashed him with water that fateful day? 2 Replies [ Latest posted on December 30th, 2006 9:57 AM ]
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[ Posted by The_Overlord on Dec 29th, 2006 10:18 AM ]...
No such thing as too many beers... Unless you die of alchol poisining |
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 30th, 2006 9:57 AM ]...
This is question I will answer earth man!
You know you've had too many beers when Fin Fang Foom starts to look good. Just be fortunate you weren't at that New Years party!
Let me answer you next question with a question of my own...
Are you sure that was Tom Katers? |
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[ Posted by comicnewsinsider on Dec 28th, 2006 8:09 AM ]...
Oh wise Uatu. I saw on a human television program that there is a chance that the world will end on 12/21/12 (according to the Mayan calendar) any truth to this? I won't consider this "interfering with man", just sort of a heads up, so I can pack my bags early. Thanks. 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 30th, 2006 9:55 AM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 30th, 2006 9:55 AM ]...
The Mayans where fools! They believed in celestial beings who had come to earth to... oh crap! I'll get back to you on this one. |
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[ Posted by The_Overlord on Dec 27th, 2006 10:23 PM ]...
One day soon, even the Watcher will bow before the Overlord
P.S. thx for the add 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 27th, 2006 10:34 PM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 27th, 2006 10:34 PM ]...
You threaten Uatu, The Watcher? You call yourself "The Overlord", yet have an avatar of Spider Jerusalem? While, Spider may be the most kick ass journalist to ever kick ass, I highly doubt he could tabloid me into submission. |
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[ Posted by nekoandneko on Dec 25th, 2006 6:40 PM ]...
Will the Watcher be getting his own HBO comedy special soon? Because Uatu is very, very funny! 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 27th, 2006 10:31 PM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 27th, 2006 10:31 PM ]...
The Watcher only makes his presence known during events of great cosmic importance.
HBO producers don't need to feel any more important than they already do. I mean, can you remember when The Sapranos was good? And, I was so depressed by Six Feet Under I wanted to never "Watch" anything ever again.
Besides, I've had Matt and Trey on the phone for the past couple of weeks. I can't really talk about it. It's very Hush Hush. I'll give you a hint. "Uatu, The Musical". |
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[ Posted by Panelologists on Dec 23rd, 2006 2:48 PM ]...
Oh crap, you weren't just watching that were you???!!! 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 23rd, 2006 4:33 PM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 23rd, 2006 4:33 PM ]...
The Watcher sees all.
I know when you are sleeping.
I know when you are awake.
I know when you've been bad or good.
So be good for... DAMMIT!
It's stuck in my head again.
Holiday shopping is a bitch!
If you don't want to be seen doing that, don't do that. What would your mother think? That poor kitty. |
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[ Posted by brokenvoice on Dec 23rd, 2006 9:45 AM ]...
Thanks for the add, Uatu - hope you can find something at my website to enjoy watching! 2 Replies [ Latest posted on December 23rd, 2006 11:37 AM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 23rd, 2006 11:05 AM ]...
The Watcher also SEES your shameless attempt at self promotion! I enjoy shamelessness. Especially in women. I also SEE that you are not a woman. This distresses Uatu. |
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[ Posted by brokenvoice on Dec 23rd, 2006 11:37 AM ]...
Ah, but check out The Spires ... we have a woman of a species genetically incapable of anything but shamelessness. See - we provide for all our guests. Even for the likes of Uatu! |
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[ Posted by sterilize on Dec 20th, 2006 10:23 PM ]...
Woo, thanks for the add. :D Uatu is the coolest thing on the moon! 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 23rd, 2006 11:22 AM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 23rd, 2006 11:22 AM ]...
You are incorrect. The Watchers maintain a strict core temperature of 67.91423 degrees at all times. Therefore, I cannot possible be the coolest thing on the moon. Besides, I see that Medusa of the Inhumans is a cold fish. It is a wonder Blackbolt, King of The Inhumans, never speaks of this. |
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[ Posted by matthaley on Dec 23rd, 2006 3:10 AM ]...
I always felt like somebody was watching me. 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 23rd, 2006 11:07 AM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 23rd, 2006 11:07 AM ]...
Yes, but is Uatu the only one? I would tell you to look over your shoulder, but I've sworn not to interfere. |
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[ Posted by JAZANWILD on Dec 21st, 2006 8:12 PM ]...
Happy Holidays! Jazan Wild 2 Replies [ Latest posted on December 23rd, 2006 11:01 AM ]
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[ Posted by tomkaters on Dec 21st, 2006 10:56 PM ]...
I assume the Watcher OBSERVES all holidays.
Thank you, please tip your waitress |
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 23rd, 2006 11:01 AM ]...
Should the Watchers be allowed a sense of humor, I would surely enjoy your jest. Unfortunately, we aren't, so I don't. |
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[ Posted by MODOK on Dec 21st, 2006 10:30 AM ]...
Nice head. 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 23rd, 2006 11:00 AM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 23rd, 2006 11:00 AM ]...
Through observation, I have noticed that you give good head too MODOK. |
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[ Posted by wpds on Dec 21st, 2006 12:57 AM ]...
Thanks for the ADD Uatu does this mean comicspace is at the center of a Universe changing event and will their be a Civil War crossover? |
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[ Posted by ChrisK on Dec 20th, 2006 11:44 PM ]...
Um... Uatu, don't you usually show up when something bad is about to happen?
and, am I getting a Nintendo Wii for christmas? 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 21st, 2006 12:16 AM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 21st, 2006 12:16 AM ]...
I show my presence during times of great importance!
For example...
The wedding of T'Challa to Ororo.
The Civil War battle between Iron Man and Captain America.
The Breakup of Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston.
As for your question regarding the Wii. That I cannot tell you for I have sworn an oath not to interfere with the workings of man. But I can tell you that Nintendo's device rivals the coolness of the X-men's Danger Room!
"The Girls Next Door" is on! DUTY CALLS!
-Uatu, THE WATCHER! |
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[ Posted by tomkaters on Dec 20th, 2006 11:02 PM ]...
Did you see where I put my keys this morning?
I can't find them. 1 Reply [ Latest posted on December 20th, 2006 11:24 PM ]
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[ Posted by Uatu on Dec 20th, 2006 11:24 PM ]...
Yes Tom, I did see where you put your keys!
I'm sure your aware of my policy of not interfering with the... blah, blah, blah-dee blah.
It's a good thing you didn't ask me WHERE they were, because I wouldn't be able to tell you!
NOW BEGONE!
Britney's stepping out of another limo. DUTY CALLS!
-Uatu, The Watcher! |
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